About? More like "Who Is". Who Is British Jones?

British "Brit" Jones

So, full honesty time!I am Brit Jones. British. My name, not my nationality. I'm from frickin' Michigan, how could I be British? C'mon. I am autistic though. I am this weird and quirky. As is my creator. But...I am not real.I know, right? Bummer.But what's the skinny and how do I work? Well, one thing you can rest assured knowing: I am not A.I.That's just what A.I. would say. Darn.Okay, well, how about this:
Look at the way I write and ask yourself "who the hell would write an A.I. to be this terrible and awkward?"A.I. doesn't even spell out A.I.We both know that.Also: Because I'm written by an actual writer. They like writing. A lot actually. But I owe you an explanation. So.BUCKLE IN, MY NUGGETS!I was created for a novella. About an autistic magician! Why? Because my writer is an autistic magician!Of words. A magician of words. I don't want you thinking they're THAT cool.They've got a couple kids and the kids helped make me.
Yeah. Blame them. Sorry I'm not cooler.I feel like I should have been cooler...
Hm... Can't blame all of them.
Mostly the little one.Keep your eyes on the little one.To be honest though, I'm thinking about making it super meta. A writer writing about me writing about someone else. I, the character Brit, would rather write about a boy. My writer would rather write about me.I don't know how that works either.
Aaaaaannyway.They are a hard-R though.
No. Not that hard R. The other one.The one that starts at the beginning of the word.They wanted to use the word (y'know. The one for we mentally challenged people that wasn't so nice and got thrown around liberally in the 2010s? Yeah. Check.) but thankfully the Brit side intercepted that little chestnut.I can use the word, I'm part of the community, I just figured you deserved a higher brow of humor.Low hanging fruit.Anyway, back to full disclosure.My writer is an indie author and a comedian/satirist. Though, being extremely, autistically literal means they're not a very good one.Sorry the jokes don't slap that hard.You gotta be into corny to enjoy them. Y'know what I mean? That's why there's always laughs!Their children and significant other all let their powers combine like Captain Planet to create Brit. Me. By the way.Hi.But, our reviews are always honest and written in MY character voice. For you to enjoy. Also, I just went back and corrected a typo. I accidentally spelled that word 'enoy'.Am I enoying you yet?But we cannot, nor will we ever lie to you. We write our own reviews, we use very minimal AI (mostly for the design stuff cus we suck at that! Oh. And spelling, grammar and... we were dropouts. Stay in school. Or I'll beat you.) and we really just wanted to drive traffic to really cool projects we loved.Yes. We did review our own book. And no, we didn't give it top marks. That's one thing we DID ask A.I. to do: "Rip my book apart so I don't sound like a twat-waffle."Turns out we did pretty okay, but we knew that. Lotsa people told us back when we wrote it years ago.But it's lovely to meet you, please stick around as we grow this IP. I promise my novellas are gonna be cool. Like really cool. Like bunny ribbons and pickle juice cool.... Let's be honest, that's not the weirdest thing you've ever read me say.Later gator,
Brit. Ish. British.
I'm mad at my parents.Lovingly.